A NATURAL EXTENSION OF THE MERITS.

 I have dyed hair! - It does not matter.

- I smoke. Dymlyu like a locomotive! - This is not important.

- I will never give birth to you baby! - Adopt a Stranger.

- But I'm a man! - Everyone has their own shortcomings.

And it's still a brilliant dialogue ... and it's still a congenial dialogue !!! I remember when we first watched "Some Like It Hot

girl, "in the south, in the Spa Hall, I was 11 years old, and I then have two weeks to set itself felt pen birthmark, like Darling,

and said in a terrible voice: "Ahh, you're my whole chest was hit !!!"

Everyone has their own pimples 

In the English original catchphrase sounds like Nobody's perfect - "Nobody's perfect", and I insist that it should be

cast in gold or carved in stone. Or at least write on the shirt. Personally, I would not wear a t-shirt, because

I can not stand T-shirts, but there are a whole bunch of people who I would have presented. Or I could, for example,

her sleep - that most do not forget this is a universal law of human relations. Everyone has their own shortcomings.Tweedledee! 

However, we, the St. Petersburg Samoyeds (meaning, of course, not the Chukchi, and fans porefleksirovat, nibble on your

Breakfast and peck for lunch), much closer another, no less well-known maxim. She knows everything, even the Losers, the school

the bench. "In the person all should be fine s face and clothes, and soul, and mind" ... Yes, this is it, "the singer twilight singer limp

intelligentsia, "our dear Anton Pavlovich. But tell me, Anton Pavlovich, unless it happens to have the perfect all without

exceptions? Even when in love on a hat? No, it does not happen. Something necessary, but would be a little less perfect than

should be. Even nose hair - something they did not exactly perfect. Some disadvantages are obliged to be present. Otherwise

just uninteresting.

What, then, to forgive? Contrary to what love? What nobly endure? And after that immensely self-respect? For which demand

helpful Statement How to feel meek and innocent victim? Already at least one so people just need

flaws! They - the cement in the building of human relationships, impaired people firmly cling to each other like burs,

and these spines can hold together for many years ...

I once asked a child why cucumbers pimples. I still do not know the answer to this question, except one - the bumps

needed by all, but they are each their own.

In short, the debate about why people shortcomings suggest that we consider open! And as illustrative material borrow

a few stories from the psychologist Veronika Kitaitsev. All names have been changed, the characters and appearance, too - so that any

match with the reality of asking a coincidence with reality!

Sasha and emptiness  

Sasha (28y.o.) - a specialist in the field of bookselling, slim, if not exhausted, brown hair, held consultations

psychologist after a long and in all respects bloody divorce. She wondered why all the shortcomings of her husband's first

seemed to her virtues, but what they really flaws, she knew just how to, repeatedly, and tasted

experience for yourself.

"When we met with Victor, he seemed to me a man with the easiest character in the world. Cheerful, Happy,

carefree ... All here and now, everything - for the better, life is good, and there shall understand ... His ability to enjoy life, not

scoring his head nonsense, the ability to forget the bad and easy to converge with the people were so contagious! How could I not

could see that behind this bright and elegant wrap hiding emptiness? Over time, his ease and cheerfulness turned

of irresponsibility and carelessness, it became clear that he just does not remember the good as evil, just as easily throw people as

make new acquaintances, and all the problems are simply passed on to someone else's shoulders? And the nonsense that he never wanted to

taking in the head, it is just the same, I, my opinion, my worries, my difficulties! him everything was a teapot! I was blind? Or is it

changed? Why I now hate him for the very thing for which he fell in love with? "

Oh, yes, people have a tendency to eventually experience startling metamorphosis. Carefree troubadour imperceptibly

turns into an irresponsible tyrant.

Thrust worker - a hard-nosed workaholic. Thrifty host - in miser, and generous nature - a spendthrift, romantic - all in

some idiot. Pushy - in an overbearing, passionate - a voracious, gentle - a drooling, hard -to cruel, soft

- In a rag ... In fairness, we note that exactly the same thing happens with the lovely ladies. Was attentive -

became annoying. Was seksualnoaktivnaya - became depraved messaline. Was strict, but fair - has become a rusty saw.

Was plyushechki-pampushechka -steel zhirtrest. Oh, how sad you are, the prose of life!

And why it is so rarely happens the other way - and disadvantages almost never turn into an advantage? Is that impotence -

after seventy they say she has the benefit of ...

Katya and Sidorov goat with kid 

Kate (35 years old) came to a psychologist because of difficulties with the behavior of his son. More precisely, the son some difficulties with behavior not. They have

Katie. In particular, it is annoying that the eight-year Nikita, in her opinion, has inherited all the flaws of his father, with whom

they parted not quite on friendly terms (and continue to slowly and moderately conflict so far, is now due to

education Nikita). Kate is sure that his father a bad influence on the boy, and her ex-husband, that is to say the father, I am sure that Kate - a fool.

"You just can not imagine what it boring! Ready resent hours on some idiotic reason. Will

nitpick, spoil the mood of themselves and others because of some lousy piece of cake! I remember how we went all together in

Disneyland, and he was in the hotel laundry ruined pants-they sat down after cleaning. So he wasted all those trousers - and we have, and

hotel, and myself, I was ready to strangle him with them! And the son of the same traits. He wanted a notebook with Optimus Prime, and such

ran out. And his life is not a joy, he darker clouds, and it will be as long gouge me with this Optimus Prime until I

vyderu it as Sidorova goat. Luplyu and shout: "Here's Optimus Prime!" And then crying, hate myself, of course ... Well, how

I bring him up so that he did not like his father? How to eradicate it papa? "

When it comes to children, it is difficult to resist the desire to call to the aid of genetic engineering and even on the level of embryonic

weed of their future personalities disadvantages. Especially those we resemble someone. Especially if we do someone

no longer love. Then all terribly angry. But the disadvantages of a loved one, reflected in the children - it's even cute.

Cute is a family tradition. Where is the logic ?!

Olya and victory over booty 

Olga (24 years) to receive a psychologist led mom. The fact that the girl was scared to cry at night. She had nightmares in

which she was subjected to torture, tortured, strangled, drowned in a vat of snakes, killed and were doing other things and that is steeper.

In this day Olga looked quite successful and cheerful, if a bit hungry. Worked two jobs,

received a second degree, worked up a sweat in the gym and taught two languages. Of course, it turned out that the horror,

diet, and perfectionism - one apple-tree fruits, namely total Olin discontent itself. With self-esteem Olga

was just the trouble, and diligence, dedication and diligence does not hold, so she dedicated her life to fighting

own shortcomings, physical and spiritual. She almost won a ass, belly, cheeks, laziness, shyness,

lack of initiative, lack of taste. But here's the general mediocre, boring, non-sexual unattractiveness,

imagine, did not yield correction.

"And that's why I dreamed of all these horrors - because I subconsciously hated myself, all this negativity so sees

will. And what? If you are always struggling with their weaknesses, their bad sides, but you manage to only

disguise them, and they still get out constantly. And no amount of training will not help you actually get better, it is only

visibility! Or maybe I just did not have enough willpower? "

Wow, how it all started, you might say. Or maybe you say, but deep down, know yourself. Some of the unpublished, so

say. 

Confess, many of us have successfully lived on the grounds of personal inquisition, with cruelty and passion

exposing themselves to death for their sins voluntary and involuntary. We love, women, poterzatsya guilt.

- Why am I such a softie? I do go on, I have enjoyed all I spineless invertebrates, I can not say

"No" ... 

- I have no willpower. 

- I am disorganized. 

- I can not control myself. I was just hysterical! 

- I'm vindictive. 

- I forgive everything and wipe their feet on me.

 - I'm stupid. 

- I do not keep promises. 

- I squander money. 

And finally, the crown of creation: 

- I do not love myself for what I did not love myself!

And we struggled fighting with each other, striving to remake itself, to start a new life tomorrow, swear that if more

once ... terrible thing - the fight with him. That's really really - the invisible world of tears. Where is the magic bullet? On

T-shirt. Nobody's perfect.

The whole point is that our shortcomings - a natural extension of the merits.

Do not succumb and submit 

Man is known already born with character. Some kids "shilopopy", others phlegmatic, others hare-coward,

fourth povopit not fools, fifth laugh for any reason ... even in the early infant crying in these heart-rending

"UAAAAAAA!" or pathetic "Ueeeeeee ..." you hear a distinct character. But they have no weaknesses. There are so far only

features. 

Disadvantages appear later - when the kids are growing, becoming more conscious, and society, especially in the face of parents,

makes him a verdict: 

- Able to a boy, but lazy. 

- Harmful and capricious love. 

- Stubborn. 

- A fighter! 

Or the other way around: 

- He's a lazy, but so talented! On the abilities always will leave! 

- It's so emotional and sensitive ... 

- Thrust, will achieve. 

- Fighter!

So what's different from the lazy capable dumchivomu in contemplation? Not organized by creative, moody from

creative, moody from sensitive, stubborn of stubborn, a fighter - of the brave, and a liar - from the dreamer? Feed! Same

personality trait includes both the dignity and the lack -Watching how to cook. That is why the quality of such a cute boyfriend,

become so intolerable to her husband (well, respectively, and his wife).

Modality has changed - and that's all. Was carefree and sociable - became giddy yap. Her husband is required

-krepkaya other hand, strong arm, strong leg, strong head, and so on. And now that it is not enough. And if something does not

missing, lacking - it is a disadvantage. Was thorough, thoughtful, attentive to detail -sploshnye dignity. And became wild

bore, a pain, pedddd ... pedant, I wanted to say.

And do not get it, do not be rooted, because you can not change the human person, it only leads to injury,

deformities and nightmares.

Yes, and why, in fact, change? If it is negative, then something is missing, is not enough? Maybe the ability to switch or

the ability to think more broadly, so as not to get bogged down in the details? So cultivate, accustom, develop, this is always easier and more enjoyable than

eliminate, overcome and uproot. And praise, reward and encourage - better and easier than to curse, prohibit and punish.

Such faith

In particular, the note as well as itself. I hysterical? Yes, I am an emotional person. Emotional - then who can sincerely rejoice

heartily sympathize with a crush, open towards the new with enthusiasm, flight, with the radiance of the eye. This means that I

do not keep zapazuhoy if I feel bad, I cry if I'm evil, I am angry and sword thunder and lightning, this storm otgremit - and pass. It

means that I feel the poetry and beauty of nature, I am able to enjoy music and art, appreciate the taste of the food and the comfort of home and can turn

even the most ordinary day into something special! It's crazy how much in me wonderful!

Yes, I lack the exposure. Sometimes I do before I think. Sometimes go too far, to break a lance and throw chairs.

I should try to cultivate self-control, a sense of proportion and trezvomyslie. But I can not do it, if I hate to

Statement hysterical, instead of loving a perfect emotional being, love child.

I impotent? Yes, I am a person who is able to compromise. This means that I diplomatically, I'm not trying to pressure people who know how to

forgive, I was soft and kind person. And let me lack of willpower, but I have large reserves of tenderness and warmth.

In the end, like in the surrounding with for what we ourselves love. We need to develop their skills, and maybe disadvantages of

this does not become less, but compared to the proportion of all that is beautiful and valuable to us and they skukozhatsya fade. Painted

hair? It does not matter.

Smoking can throw children to adopt, well, what I'm actually a man - so it's nothing, it happens, is not it?