We give 20 sage advice about marriage from a man who had just divorced. At first glance, it seems that a divorced man is unlikely to be able to give good advice about family life, but this man has gone through many difficulties and knows what is worth fighting for.
Advice on marriage, which I, unfortunately, no one gave.
Obviously, I'm not an expert on relationships. But this week I will complete my divorce, and, looking back, I see a lot of things that would have been glad to do it differently. After losing the woman he loves after nearly 16 years of marriage, I can list those tips, which I missed.
1 Never stop to take care of your beloved . Never stop to seek its location. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to take hold of her heart and constantly protect it. This is the most important and cherished treasure entrusted to you. She chose you.Never forget about it and never be lazy love.
2 Take care of your own heart. You must keep her heart, but also keep an eye out to keep his own. Concern with self-love, open to the world and love it, but in your heart to be a special place where you do not go down no one except your wife. Always be ready to call it there, take it, and do not let go of anyone or anything, except her.
3 falls in love with her all over again. You will be constantly changing. You are not like during the wedding, and after five years you will not be as it is now. Change will come, so you have every day again and again to choose each other. She did not have to stay with you, and if you do not keep strong her heart, she'll give it to someone else or close it for you, and maybe you will never be able to get it back. Strive for her love constantly, as in the time when you took care of it.
4 Always look for the best part of it. Concentrate only on what you like. If you concentrate on what annoys you, you will not see anything except the reasons for irritation. And if you concentrate on what you love, then love will overwhelm you. Concentrate until the field of view there is nothing left but love, and you will feel without a shadow of a doubt that you - the happiest man on earth because this woman - your wife.
5 Not your task - to change or correct it. Your task - to love it such as it is, not expecting it to ever change. If it changes, like it such as it will, regardless of whether these changes have satisfied or not.
6 fully responsible for their emotions. task your wife - not to make happy you, and it can make you miserable. You are responsible for finding their own happiness. When you will gain, your joy will go into your relationship and your love.
7 Do not blame the wife. you upset or angry because of her only because her actions have caused in your soul some reaction. If you have any such feelings, give yourself time to recover, to look into his soul and understand what needs to be treated. This woman is attracted you so that she hit the hardest wounds left from childhood, and thus made it possible to cure them. Once you will understand with their children's grievances and complexes, you will not clatter and wonder how it was at all possible.
8 Just let your woman to be. When she is sad or upset, do not try to bring it to life. Your business - hug her and let her know that everything will be fine. Let her know that you hear it, it is important to you and that she can always rely on you. Female soul is changeable and emotional, feeling your companion will be to roll and go, like the sun in April, and if you stay strong and do not blame her, she will trust you and open your soul. When she is sad, do not run away. Be there, be strong and let her know that will not go away. Listen for the meaning of what she says, despite the words and emotions.
9 fooled. Do not take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh and tell her. With a laugh, easy to transfer everything else.
10 fill her soul every day. learned the language of her love to find out, which gives her a sense of self-worth and value. Ask her to make a list of ten things that allow her to feel loved. Remember them, and every day try to give her the opportunity to feel like a queen.
11 Be here and now. important not just give it time: treat her with undivided attention. Relieve the brain in any way possible and fully devote his attention to his wife, when you are together. Treat it as the most important client at work. It is the most important client.
12 Wish to its proximity. admires her his manhood, take it with full force and passion, to penetrate into the deepest layers of her soul. Allow it to be soft and feminine, and let her know that she can trust you completely.
13 Do not be an idiot ... and do not be afraid to seem like an idiot. Both of you are sure to make mistakes. Try not to blow flies of elephants and learn from mistakes. No one is waiting for you to ideal behavior. Just try to behave is not too stupid.
14 Leave it to space. Women know very well how to give yourself to others, but sometimes they need to recover. Sometimes she will have to fly out of the family nest and find food for the soul, and if you let her do it, my wife back, inspired and joyful. Yes, I'm a little carried away with poetic wording, but you get my point. Remind her to take time for herself, especially after the birth. She needed free time and space to upgrade, back to yourself and do not lose yourself in the service of children, her husband and the whole world.
15 Be vulnerable. Not necessarily always be calm. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and if you made a mistake somewhere, do not hesitate to immediately recognize it.
16 Be completely open. If you want to trust, you must be willing to share everything. Especially what you do not want to share. To love a woman completely, completely open your heart and let it go, not knowing whether she liked what she saw, it takes courage.And in order to enable it to fully love you - not only light, but also the dark side. Remove the mask. If you, for your feelings, next to the companion should always wear a mask and constantly seem ideal, you will never feel love in its entirety.
17 Do not stay in a joint growth. In a pond of stagnant water emerging malaria and river flow is always fresh and cool. If the muscle does not develop, it atrophies in a natural way; The same happens with the relationship, if stop work on them. Look for common goals, dreams and far-reaching plans and move them.
18 Do not worry about money. Money - it's a game. In order to win in this game you have to become a team. Quarrels in the team never going to benefit. Learn how to give each other strength to win.
19 Farewell at once and concentrate on the future rather than to bear the burden of the past. Do not let your stories to keep you hostage. Habit to hold on to past mistakes, whoever they may be doing you or she - the heavy anchor for your marriage. It pulls you back. Forgiveness - is freedom. Cut the anchor and always choose love.
20 Always choose love. always, always choose love. Always, always, always choose love. Ultimately, it is - the only truly necessary advice. If you are guided in every decision with this choice, the happiness of your marriage is not threatened. Love will stand still.
Ultimately, the marriage - not the line "and they lived happily ever after." This is a job. And the commitment to grow together, and the will to constant creation that will last forever. It is working on it will bring happiness.
Marriage - that's life, and with it will come the ups and downs. We must learn to be happy to take a cycle and learn to learn from each experience. That is what will give strength and allow to always see the prospects of marriage and continue to build brick by brick.
I realized this only from their mistakes. It's too late.
But I try to learn this lesson and is determined to pass it on. I really liked living in marriage. Eventually, I will marry again, and when that happens, the foundation of a new marriage survive any storm and any time.
If you've found the fruit of my bitter experience useful, share them with the young couple, whose hearts are full of hope, and with couples, forgotten how to love. Perhaps someone from their husbands will be similar to the previous me. Maybe these lessons, get me dearly, arouse in him any sense, and he will learn to be the one who was waiting for his beloved.
The woman said to him, "Yes!" Trust him with my life and waited for him a responsible attitude.
If you do not satisfied with something in your own marriage, take the 100% responsibility for your actions in the marriage, regardless of what is going on with your wife, and apply these lessons, it is too late.
Men, be the best lovers. There is no more a difficult task - and there is no greater reward. Your woman deserves it.
Be such a husband, a wife could not you do not show off.
No comments:
Post a Comment